Monday, June 29, 2009

the return

i've been goofing around lately with the idea of starting a blog. i mean, i have the harvey blog (which is not what i intended it to be, but is interesting nonetheless). but as much as i love my dogs there's a lot more to talk about in life, right? twitter can only cover so much. i have more to say.

i was absolutely delighted to discover tonight when i attempted to start a blog that i already have one! fabulous. past me knew that future me would need a venue. and thanks to past me's foresight and articulate intro, the stage is set and nobody will expect anything of any value from this blog! yay!

the catalyst for reincarnating the blog tonight was an interesting encounter involving a homeless woman and my dear dog harvey that i had today (i know, i know, back to the dogs again, but they're bound to come up now and then).

i was sitting at a stoplight in front of NewBrite Plaza around six thirty tonight. it's a pretty high-traffic area, so there are lots of cars and many pedestrians milling around. kind of in a scummy area of new britain (home sweet home) and the surrounding neighborhood is populated with characters who could easily carry SNL through another ten seasons.

i was on my way home from my parents' house and, as usual, harvey was with me.

he likes to ride shotgun. i don't let him do it very often because it's so dangerous, but he loves it. the night i first took him away from the dank basement he'd spent most of his puppyhood in he rode shotgun because his crate was in the back seat of my car and there was no room for him back there. he's loved the front seat ever since.

he has a seat belt, but it pins him down in a weird and uncomfortable way, so until i make the necessary adjustments it's out of commission. he's pretty quiet in the car, likes to sit and look out the window or curl up and sleep until we reach our destination.
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anyway, i was sitting at the light when i noticed a strange woman standing on the corner waiting to cross. i heard her before i saw her, she was raving on and on. i don't know who she was talking to- herself, god, the pigeons in front of dunkin donuts... the possibilities were endless.

she was probably in her forties (but it's often hard to tell, she could have been around my age- sometimes life is hard on people). she was black with crazy unkempt hair, dressed in a black sweatshirt that was about three sizes too big and black leggings, and wearing a blue backpack that was fit to burst.

"hey, you- honey, smile!" she called.

i gave her a flicker of a grin- my entire life people have hounded me to smile. i hear it all the time. it's not that i'm a miserable person, it's just that i have an angry face!! i used to think that about my mother when i was a kid, and it's true for me too. in its relaxed state, the corners of my mouth point down. you know that saying about how it takes more muscles to frown than smile? not in my case. so i'm used to people telling me to smile, and i usually just comply and that's the end of things. that is, unless i really am in a foul mood and then i just level them with a bone chilling glare (my infamous"death stare").

the flicker of a grin wasn't good enough for her, though and as she continued to march across the street she turned so that her entire torso was facing me, perpendicular to the orientation of her legs, which continued their original path. It was truly bizarre.

"oh, no, you gotta smile, honey. you got big boy there with you" (she gestured to indicate harvey, who was smiling vacantly out the window at her- and, incidentally, is not a 'big boy' at all) "that boy, he's your friend, and you'll always have him. look at me, honey, all i got in the world is this bag and i'm smiling. don't nobody love me like that dog loves you. you should be smiling, cause even if everything else is going to hell, you rich. best friend you can have, a dog."

i looked over at my dog
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and then i really did smile. a genuine smile, a huge smile.

"there you go, baby- you got it!" she called

i waved as the light turned green "have a good day"

and i smiled all the way home.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

kicking and screaming.... and then just rambling

ugh. i did not want a blog. this blog was created for me despite my protests because, i'm sure the creator knew that although i did not want a blog, history has shown that i cannot resist a blank canvas. in any media. sure enough, i was thinking today and remembered that this blog was out here with my name on it, and nothing posted but some hogwash blahdeblah that ryan pulled from some dark crevice in his mind where the disgarded scraps of thoughts that are too nonsensical even for his purposes collect. i deleted that garbage lickety split.

and so, as i'm sure was predicted, here i find myself blogging.

i'll give you an easy out now. if you've read this far you've already wasted precious time that you'll never get back, and if you read any farther you're only going to waste more. you don't know me, because nobody knows that i have a blog except for ry who's forgotten all about it by now, and i don't intend to advertise. hell, i'm not going to say anything of any value to anyone. not even me. this is where i'm chucking all of the thoughts that are currently cluttering up my head. all of those teetering stacks of ideas that i keep promising myself i'll examine later are going to have to be stored here. there's just no more room in my brain for that crap, but i'm too much of a packrat to just forget it.

so i don't intend to be smart or funny or original. i'm just rambling. rambling away. that is my calling.

part of the reason that i've rejected the idea of having a blog is because i find that they're usually self-serving and/or pseudointellectual. (this is the part where i piss off whoever's reading this, because odds are, you have a blog). they're either mundane minute to minute updates of peoples' lives (including snarky comments about people and situations in their lives) or self-conscious rhetoric. (let me just post as an aside that i don't read too many blogs because i expect them to exhibit all of the characteristics i just listed, so if yours differs from my description, bully for you and i apologize. keep up the good work.)

frankly my fear is that my own blog will be a prime example of everything i hate.

we shall see.